Parallel is just an illusion

Put a poster in front of your face

2011-12-25T11:14:00.002Z

The beginning of my first term in Nottingham, I bought posters of Martin Luther King's I have a dream, the view of Eiffel Tower, World Map and John Lennon's People for Peace poster. The Eiffel tower was right in front of my bed. So every morning I wake up I see France.

Believe it or not, this morning when I woke up it strike to me that I woke up in a Christmas morning in France. I feel the bliss. I already had problems embracing the fact that I am studying in Nottingham, moreover I'm spending my Christmas in Alsace, France.

This still rings in my ear -

"Create all possibilities."

Merry Christmas all.

Critical Issues of Journalism II

2011-10-30T01:26:00.002Z

This is one of the modules that I am taking here in NTU. Mostly, I'll be learning about online journalism in contrast with traditional media. By far, I find this subject is the most captivating subject among the others ie Cultural Policy, Alternative Media and Globalization.

From the fourth lecture, we are asked to analyse political blogs and blogs that are connected to the mainstream media. Immediately, I have Lim Kit Siang on my mind. So easy. But to compare with a news blog. It is almost 2 hours now since I started searching. I am still unable to find a valid news blog from the mainstream media. I found some that are completely unrelated to national and political news, but it is written by some journalist from the mainstream media.

Critical issue indeed.

This sorta gives a hint, no? I would find thousands of blog that categorizes under Alternative political blogs. However, I find none of what I am looking for.

In here, Raja Petra mentioned on Malaysia-today

'We are supposed to be the alternative media, but we are probably the main media and the mainstream media is the alternative media, because we get more hits and higher readership than the main media.'

I think this is the reason why, the alternative media are considered the main ones because there's just no blogs of the mainstream. However limited that is, readers look for different sources, opened up their mind and probably a sudden enlightenment on the views of our country. Hence, higher readership.

However, I still have no say in this. I haven't exactly done a million webpage search on a relevant blog that I am comparing with Lim Kit Siang.

Until I'm done with it, we'll see the result.

Amnesty International.

2011-10-05T16:26:00.004+01:00

October has come and last week Amy and her mom came to visit with Hector. She brought Malaysia's most authentic food to Nottingham. Finally, a true taste of curry with ketupat. For the two nights they stayed over, we had a good chat until late night. Their existence made a huge difference to our atmosphere at home. I miss them now because Amy's no more here with her jolliness.

Yesterday I went for Amnesty International first meeting. I was really excited before the meeting and put on my confident face. But as the meeting went on, I was zoning out and know nothing about the world. I nod, pretending I know what's going on, but I don't. Heh. But soon after that I learned. There were debates on the middle eastern country, like what sort of campaign should or should not be run. But I was just a 100% observer. I couldn't give much of opinion.

However, we are on two campaigns for these two months.

One is to fight of Afghanistan women's right - because they will be having a Bon Conference in December 2011 to offer peace with the world politic leaders and Afghan leader(?). But through this peace, they are compromising the rights of Afghan's women.
Two is anti-death penalty.

Interesting enough to get myself involve with what's going on with the world, because I have always been ignorant towards all these. I will see how it goes. But I'll be more interested in terms of freedom of expression. :)

Now tomorrow will be my first day of class. Have been pressured by Christin's respond from her first classes that there's a lot to catch up. So I went to library today and brought two books home.

It's GEEK TIME!

Out.

To break or to...

2011-09-28T15:09:00.008+01:00

I noticed my fingernails are more brittle since I've arrived to England. It keeps chipping off and I'll peel it off and it looks ugly now. Out of the ten nails four is down.

When I was checking my nails, I thought "Guess what? My skin is adjusting better than my nails". All of the sudden I came up with this, the harder you are willing to adapt, the faster you break, literally. This happens to your body as well and not just someone quoted it about life. But applicable to everything.

Speaking of that, I was pretty sad on my first day of Induction Week (Orientation). I entered to the class filled of English people, only one or two Asians. Despite being a minority, I felt so shy to speak to anyone. So, I insist of staying quiet because I wouldn't know how to address anyone or what to say. After that session, I thought I was stupid and my expectation of University life is spiraling downwards.

Enough of being emotional. My nails are breaking, but I don't want to break myself. :)

So Christin and I went to Freshers' Fair today. My hopes are coming up again because I met people of the same interest. I've decided to join Amnesty International to learn more about human rights and get the global views about rights and freedom of expression. From there, I'll integrate it with Malaysia's freedom of information.

One Shoot by fotouczniak

I can't wait to get started with university and meet more new people. I took up Critical Issues of Journalism, Cultural Policy, Alternative Media, Globalization & Culture and Dissertation. I'm feeling so excited now.

'Circadian Eyes - When We Float' is such a motivating song.

What dreams are made of?

2011-09-08T10:13:00.009+01:00

I literally grew up with Hilary Duff and I remember I use to sing that song with Shin Yee so often in high school but never knew the exact meaning of it. Ah well, the lyrics never bother me but I'm not making a post on Hilary Duff or my teen years, but 'Dreams'.

Despite Hilary's song talks about being belong to somewhere and being with the person you love is the ingredient to what makes a dream, I really am curious what dream is?

When I first got acquainted with Angela she asked me 'What is your dream?'

Dreams? That's quite a childish question isn't it? Even if a person who asks you to illustrate dream, naturally we will sketch a person sleeping with the clouds above their head. I skeptically told her off that I don't believe in dreams. It's just mere hope for people/kids to be ambitious but at the end of the day, these dreams are just meant to be remained as dreams. Dreams come true? No. Period. Thankfully she didn't take my words into account because she shared her dreams with me in the next half hour.

That was three months ago.

About a three weeks ago, Foong Wai asked me the same question 'What is your dream?'

(Pause)

Ever since the Bersih2.0 it got me hooked to the social media and get updated on what's going on with my country, politically. I began to realize the power of media and I got so sick and disgusted when I saw what's written on the papers. Well, I don't want to touch on this sensitive issue so much just in case someone reads it and I'll end up in the jail for the responsibility of my words.

The point is, I noticed there isn't much of free press in Malaysia. You can just head on and Google 'Free press in Malaysia', you'll get what I mean. However, I really want to acknowledge Malaysiakini. I am still trying to understand my country's politics and there's more information needed to put myself into an epiphany. Hence, I'm still working on getting myself more knowledgeable.

Bersih2.0 clearly shows that Internet space is far too vast for the government to control and it became and platform for activism. Woo, that gives me butterfly in my stomach. I find it so intriguing that what society can do with media just to get their rights. If you know what I'm saying (racial, religion, sexual orientation - all these are still sensitive issues in Malaysia).

Well since I'm already pursuing my studies in media, communication and society, I thought I'll lend a hand to deliver all these messages from the community to the community.

Not forgetting awareness, we need to be in the know and not be shrouded by the veil so that our nation believes in happy-ever-after. So far, who has been fighting for this cause is Centre for Independent Journalism Malaysia (CIJ). I believe they have fought hard for many years and they inspire me. I looked further to this issue and I thought, I should help my country. I know I will get some sarcastic remarks out there.

The only reason why I decided to be loyal to Malaysia was because I got another slap in my face two years ago by Adel. We were in Freedom Film Fest 2009 and saw the documentaries on community issues. I told him I wish I could help them, but few hours later I kept ranting to him that I really, really wanted to elope from Malaysia and never look back. He, being wise told me that 'You're such a hypocrite, right? You wanted to help the people and yet you want to leave this country.'

At that point of my life, I couldn't care less about my country, but whatever he says, it stings.

But to think about it, Malaysia's my home. I will never fit in anywhere else. Not China, not UK, not where ever.

Back to Foong Wai's question, I answered 'I want to be able to form a free media for Malaysia.' To be honest, I can't believe I said that. Not a moment of my living times, I had such a concrete description of my dream. After saying that out loud, I feel the rush to pursue my studies and I am so hyped up to what is to come in my near future.

I'm sorry but I have no formulas to your dreams. Mine was just simply reflecting my abilities and tying it to the society. I can't say much just yet because I have a long way to go until I finally 'kiss the stars for shining so bright'.

And now, I still cannot believe what is going to happen in the next 11 days. My days are paused ever since I personally witnessed the visa in my passport. Hyperventilating over the possibilities that is to come my way led me to this one question 'What have I done to deserve this?'

Create - the word of all possibility

2011-08-22T13:54:00.005+01:00

I remember starting this blog with the hope for my future. I was so pumped up with the energy to work all day and night thinking I could actually save up the amount of money that is enough to shift me to a whole new experience. But day after day, I noticed my fight for future dimmed. I noticed the big words I used soon become words of daily ranting. What happened then?

Beginning of this year was pretty pointless. I had no aim, no purpose but just to graduate and think about everything else later. Probably I was tired of ranting too, hence no blog posts.

Then I got involved with thinklab, a design research organization. That is where I met a person. He's like the Master Oogway in the Kung Fu Panda; the Owl in Winnie the Pooh; Dr. Bailey in Grey's Anatomy. Well, the less aggressive Bailey. I meant this in a good way. These characters are those who makes a difficult situations seem like a piece of cake. At times you just want to strangle them, because NO, things are not that SIMPLE. But at the end of the day, they were right.

Now what happened with him that affected me is that, I told the thinklabbers that I wanted to go to UK. The only factor that is constraining me is money. Immediately he snapped my sentence by saying 'Just create the money'.

I don't think he realizes I took his words so personally. What was running in my head is that, no you can't just create money. Money is that one element that stops me at everything and it has revolve around my life that probably is the ultimate factor that shaped me into this skeptical person who doesn't believe Santa Claus exist or when my cat tries to look cute, I will always assume there's an evil agenda behind it.

What I'm trying to say here is, he believes in all possibility. If you want something, create it. C.R.E.A.T.E. - that is the awesomest word ever but a slap in the face.

It took me a while to digest it because I grew up thinking 'It's never that easy.'

And now, I'm getting ready for Nottingham Trent University. I can now say my biggest dream of my 20 years has come true. Also, I will not make it without the full support from my family and faith. I am eternally grateful.

I live by that now, to create whatever you want.

All I'm saying is, if it wasn't for thinklab, my family and faith, I don't think there's any possibility at all for me to type this contented blogpost. Otherwise, it would just be another rant of my pointless days.

To you readers, go and CREATE your life!

Lowercase Noises

2011-03-29T02:03:00.002+01:00

Found a cool site called "Drawing Mountains" to listen to all the PostRock genre songs. :) Lifted up my everyday. I have finally found some joy to share my preference and not mingling in the midst of gray shades.

Though I won't understand a single word of Italian language, the songs that they posted up sure makes it all worth while.

Just wanna share to all you, post-rocky lovers.

Past is Prelude

2011-03-10T09:51:00.006Z

I hate the feeling when I accidentally stumble on the pictures I took in the past or the journals I wrote years ago. It has this attraction that makes my knees weak, increase my heart rate and butterflies in my stomach. No, it's not a sign of typical "love" but it's more of fear and the desire twisted together in the most exhaustic manner.

I wish to dwell in there, but at the same time I have to be realistic and stay in tune with my time zone. What good does memories bring to me if this were to happen?

*I forgot where I took the image above from but I saved it in my computer. But credits to whoever to took this picture. I love.

Ordination

2011-03-06T14:40:00.004Z

I was doing some research for my upcoming documentary script -- scouting for interesting topics to be documented. I came across this line while reading some article,

"a persons access to ordination."

Millions of people out there are considered as minorities, desire to be part of this ordinary world.

The other millions dominate the world and tell them what to do.

Which million are you?

image by firebloom

Considering to use that for my documentary script. :)

As such, New Year brings hope

2011-01-06T17:49:00.003Z

It's a brand New Year with the past 20 years of my life still dwelling around. They say, no good will do if you dwell in the past. Well I'll say, without the past I won't be able to dwell at all. :)

How I wish that life can be easy; "with nothing but blue skies do I see". The year is just a number that how long the Earth has lived. It is people who lives should be changed anew. Let it be new days to inspire rather than to wait for the year. I will make it mine to wish for better days.

Happy 2011.

Let's hope it won't be the final chapter for the world!

That's life, that's what all the people say.

You're riding high in April,

Shot down in May

But I know I'm gonna change that tune,

When I'm back on top, back on top in June.

- Frank Sinatra

I Agree. Don't you?

2010-12-05T05:50:00.002Z

2010-11-21T04:19:00.004Z

Christin's portrait

All the world's a stage - Says Mr. Shakespeare.

All the men and women merely players:

They have their exits and their entrances;

And one man in his time plays many parts,

His acts being seven ages:

Infant
Whining school-boy
The lover
A soldier
The justice
Lean and slipper'd Pantaloon
Back to childish treble

Last scene of all,

That ends this strange eventful history,

Is second childishness and mere oblivion,

Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.

------

Nicely summarized, a man's life by the poet. The world became a stage for us to perform, be the culprit, be the faces.

I'd go for life itself is just an act. Why do we fight for fame and money when at the end of the day we'll dig our own grave? So, what are we to do while living in this stage?

SkiFree

2010-11-18T08:47:00.006Z

I remember those days when I landed perfectly on my dad's office computer playing SkiFree. Challenging myself to get the highest scores and smartly predicts when will that monstrous yeti comes out of his cave and attack my skinny skier. Ohh.. only a couple of minutes later I'll squeak when that MONSTROUS yeti runs out and eats my ski-man ALIVE!

What horror for the mini me at the age of 5.

Well, if you wanna have a go with this game you can download it from here.

I miss those days. Following my parents to their office and I have contributed nothing but my doodle masterpieces with their unlimited A4 paper supplies and my high-scores in the computer games.

My childhood.

Jason and Carolyn's tie of love

2010-11-10T02:09:00.000Z

September 24th, they were officially married.
October 24th, they had their wedding lunch reception.

I believe in love, something that requires a lot of faith. But it is not something that can be understood only if you have experience it across the journey of your life. A mother's care, father's security, brothers to fight and sisters to play. What's most valuable is to see the spark between our parents. We serve as the witness to their love, we live with them, we see them day and night, every seconds of their existence were cherished. It only seemed normal to be happy.

An inspiration.

Happily ever after doesn't exist.
Faith does.

May mom and dad bless you with their love. It is all we have. Carpe Diem.

Purpose

2010-10-12T09:59:00.001+01:00

of life?

First rhyme

2010-09-23T08:28:00.005+01:00

Anger hits when I look at you,

Anger from within, because of what could have been.

Anger I felt, because of I believed that you are my friend.

But none of it was true, especially when we were 'friends'.

Betrayed, not in terms of what people stabbed,

But betrayed that you didn't believe in me.

I look for the depth, yet we scored for the skins,

Money, alcohol, dance and club.

But now I believe from what I've seen,

I was away for good, but none of you were there.

My life took to a stage, to see,

The pitiful world that believes in destiny.

It's either I've seen to much or too little,

Because sometimes I thought death will be the answer.

I don't know which of it is true,

To blame, to defend or to be.

They both were gone, leaving me without a clue.

I took the road of no dignity.

I'm just another one, out of the millions.

Who am I to decide, my fate, my life?

Mirror

2010-09-16T16:37:00.001+01:00

"You are just now, here, neither coming nor going. Everything passes by you; your consciousness reflects it but it does not get identified. When a lion roars in front of a mirror, do you think the mirror roars? Or when the lion is gone and a child comes dancing, the mirror completely forgets about the lion and starts dancing with the child--do you think the mirror dances with the child? The mirror does nothing, it simply reflects. Your consciousness is only a mirror. Neither do you come, nor do you go. Things come and go. You become young, you become old; you are alive, you are dead. All these states are simply reflections in an eternal pool of consciousness."

Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh

Which deck are you on?

2010-09-13T02:10:00.002+01:00

Some people look up to their own career.

When they've worked hard enough to earn that "status", that defines who they are.

Once they've lost their job, everything they've worked for is stripped down to their bare soul.

There's nothing left for them, everything's gone in a snap. People's taken advantage of you, the end.

Some people who is raised to have a strong heart, strong faith, strong will.

These people are built from their bare soul and nothing will tear them apart, not even by losing their career. Because, these people do not depend on their career. These people, move on...

Dictionary

2010-09-04T19:14:00.003+01:00

Ever wonder why words are created but we never really practice it? So what exactly defines the meaning of it? Human imagination? Just a mere dream of "the world is round"?

June 7th

2010-06-06T18:48:00.004+01:00

It is disturbing to have an epiphany on immaturity. An excuse of being cultured that way is just merely... an excuse. Sadly, I stand on that side. I know myself better now, compared to yesterdays. I have found someone, who's willingly to hold my hand and walk across the lake of fire. I am fully grateful to that person.

I adore genuineness. To those who are not, and who are cultured to be as it is and use me up; I'm sorry for myself to allow that to happen. For these past months, I see things clearer and identified most (not all) of these moles/parasites.

A vow I take, stand up and defend for myself (the hardest among all) which is one thing that I was never trained for. I understand that I am like those who requires a thick wall to run against so that I can feel the pain and learn that lesson.

---

- angeline

Fragrance after time.

2010-03-22T01:17:00.004Z

Hello world.

Times have been pretty hectic now. Assignments swamping as usual. And I have been neglecting people surrounding me. :/

But, I did spend an amount of time with people I adore. Priority comes first eh? Alright then, i shall study for my test now.

Something radiates.

Tiger. :)

2010-02-13T02:14:00.004Z

"May this roaring year of tiger be a prosperous year for all."

As I see.

2010-01-04T17:49:00.003Z

New semester is here. Five subjects. Never been any more awesome.

Sense some sarcasm up there. This semester is gonna be another crazy one. Spent an hour in the enrollment hall just to get my subjects in the system.

Do you know, scholarships being offered out there are actually a marketing tool? Nope, I didn't know that until this guy from Studylink told me. Only Universities that are of lower standards would offer full scholarships because they want more students to enter their Uni. Hmm. What now? Are those traditional, genuine purpose of scholarship to those potential students still there? I really don't understand. Plus, I'll be graduating with a Communication Diploma. How often do you see people take Communications students seriously? They'd rather give the scholarships to those engineering courses or medicine or something like that. Am I wasting my time now, trying to do something that people look down at?

I guess the only way now is to pull up my CGPA. Do really well in all subjects to show them that at least I have good grades, there are no reasons that they could just blink pass me.

But at times I need to be reminded that me doing communications now is not a waste of time and money and effort. Am I in the wrong course?

All i can do now is just to complete it. What else can I do?

okaaaaay. This is such an awesome start. Even before the classes have commenced I am already all stressed up. Goodluck, me.

Third day of the year.

2010-01-03T16:29:00.003Z

For what I've done today, was cruel. Heartless.

I.am.sorry.

The Year After 2009

2009-12-30T22:22:00.003Z

"Let's wish under the starry skies tomorrow night, that 2010 will be the best year ever." - says monkey.

I'll be working tomorrow, or is it today. I'll be spending time at Craft Brews. Work work work.

Let's see how this year ends. :) Today's the last day of the year. I hope everyone got what they want in year 2009 because I do.

I'll look up the sky later at night, 12 sharp. I'll count and see how many stars I can spot and for each star, I'll make a wish. :)

Goodnight people. See you next year. Happy new year!

Ransom Notes

2009-12-28T20:31:00.003Z

Today shall mark a step for change. I am not sure for better or worse but I sure do hope it's worth the courage. :)

Devil's Thunder.

2009-12-26T08:23:00.006Z

Malacca was fun, I had a great time splurging.

:) Revenge on myself was sweet.

I loved it there mostly because of the company. The food was alright only cause we didn't get the best food. The good shops were closed.

Hello to Jason, Joyce, Ee Lin, Kelvin, Gabriel, Debbie, WhayYing and me.

Welcome to Melaka.

The lives that we're still in touched. Great time because of them!

I like this one. It's always the perspective.

* Photographing credit goes to PHUAH! :) haha.

More photos click here.

As for the very Merry Christmas of twothousandnine:

During the eve, I was working. Busy busy night. We were lack of staff and we sorta died there for a moment.

By the end of the night, a good man came and bought us the staffs two bottles of champagnes. :) We have no idea why but the Champagne was good. Or at least I thought it was.

On Christmas day, I did nothing but woke up at 4pm. Got a text from Reuben saying the part-timers need not work. Woohoo!

Then Jackson invited me to his brother's Christmas party. And we went to Ampang Lookout after that.

They say sing for your supper

But they say sing for your pain

But it won't bring the rain.

-Rachael Cantu

Off to my holiday. :)

2009-12-21T22:40:00.004Z

I'm leaving Selangor for 2 days. Finally, somewhere out of this place and finally, a rest from work. :) I'm going to Malacca after 14 years!! I think. Haha. Maybe I passed by before without knowing.

Others

2009-12-17T19:38:00.003Z

I'd rather take the sidewalk than to ride in a car, following the current.

I don't understand how silly can human race be, blinded by the speed.

Continue this, if you wish. :)

Sudden Enlightenment

2009-12-13T18:24:00.006Z

As exaggerating as it sounds, it does felt like it.

This may be a real delay but I am really really really grateful with everyone and everything. Grateful may be my favorite word now. :)

My life has been colorful. Many people painted it for me and it's not how I wanted it to seem like that. I feel so happy that I can smile for hours. To be honest,I've met so so many people within these two months and I do not regret at all meeting them. I am Grateful that I had decided to work like a cow. Even though it was tiring, but it was all worth it.

One is Sandriana. One crazy girl. One person I look up to. One inspiration. One person I know is genuine and really kind.

hey! you're awesome! :D

Two is Wanie. The one with courage. :) I may have lost contact with her already because I've stopped NZN. But the vast barriers she had to face then and now amazes me much.

Three is Jackson. One stranger that overwhelms my dumb blonde prejudice. I am so so sorry to have judge a person so quickly. Principles he holds on to, not everyone owns it.

I may be pre-judging these people already. I apologize if I happen to offend them.

The world, so big so wide and so scary at the same time. Grasp the life while you still can. I may not have spent much quality time with some of my dearest people. I regret for doing so. I am trying to seek a solid foundation that I've been lacking of. And I know, I've been moving towards influences. Bad, really bad. But being influenced allows me to see things in different way. Somehow, I'll sway right back to where I was. Wiser? Not really.

I doubt..... a lot.

Last words:

I can't thank you enough. People around me and helped me move forward each day.

ThankYous to those spent time and effort to celebrate my birthday with me and even those who wished me.

To be honest, I never thought I deserved this. :/ Too good to be true.

Thanks Whayying, Bala, Anusha and Ernest for the most awesome and unforgettable night. :)

Christin to make so huge jello cake and cupcakes. :)

Michelle for the reunion cum birthday celebration. :)

All yous, wished me.

Overall, i am grateful to be here. Time to make life happen!

Says Remedios.

2009-11-22T06:03:00.003Z

~~The audition is in an hour's time. Wish me luck. I'm so excited somehow. hehe.~~
Okay, do not remind me of this audition EVER! It was the worst one, not that I've been to any before. Ahhh! It was FULL of EMBARRASSMENT! Nooo, I really wanted to hide my head in my bag. Everyone else was soo.. prepared? I don't know, they're in the tights and they sing so well. I think I could be the laughing stock for them now, since they're reviewing our performances. Ohgod.

Note to self : NEVER GO FOR A MUSICAL AUDITION! Haha

But I'm still gonna go for those that does not require singing and dancing.

Always Ridiculous

2009-11-20T15:28:00.002Z

Screw the results. What's done is done. But I dislike Marketing!

I went to the Art Expo on Wednesday evening. It was kinda cool with all that masterpieces of art from everywhere. I really admire those who could paint a human so so real on canvas. But there's a lot of other weird pieces that I cannot understand as well. You know, artists are waaaay too creative sometimes. :)

Anyway, at work I told Sandria about this audition that's going on at KLPAC for Adam's Musical. She was interested about it and called to book the slot out of impulse. She booked US a slot this Sunday 3 - 4 pm. Ohmylord!! I'm nervous and scared and everything else because I've never ever in my life went for any auditions like this before. I've never acted before!

But here's an opportunity to discover performing arts. :) A chance for me to see if I'm actually up for it. BUT, I just hope I won't be a joke when I go for the audition. AHHhhh. I'm scared. It's the day after tomorrow. And I gotta look for a monologue! :\

Ps: Work at the Jobsearch Magazine has been sucky. I am beginning to hate the GM! So bossy and controlling. bahh!

DOOMSDAY

2009-11-18T00:41:00.001Z

OMGOMGOMG

MY.FINALS.RESULT.IS.OUT.

TODAY!!!

Jobsearch Magazine.

2009-11-12T03:22:00.003Z

I'm working now, the one at Dataran Sunway.
I wasn't really happy with my manager because he wants too many things to be in one little magazine. Anyway, one thing to learn from him is that he's really humble and he's got a lot of patience. I haven't seen him explode. Hopefully not ever. But he's okay with everything. I always go to work late. I'm sure you know the reason. :) And I skipped work yesterday. Well, at least I wrote my articles.

I feel kinda bad for him because most of us are opposed to him.

I should work like how I deserve the pay. :)

Alright, back to work.

HE'S A FREAKIN CON MASTER IN MALAYSIA! I CAN'T BELIEVE I WORKED HERE. :/

Which side of the bed do you consider as the good side?

2009-10-24T17:19:00.005+01:00

She thinks today is a good day for her. Well, maybe it's the little fortunate events that occurred. Or maybe only two events.

First, Kate called to tell her that NZN (New Zealand Natural) is willing to give higher pay and she can work a minimum 4 hours a day. Well, it's only RM1 difference.

Now she's more convinced that she's going to work with NZN during her holidays. :) But only in the evening. But she still haven't gotten her replies from her application. Her hopes are dying.

Forget about jobs, let's talk about the good day.

The second event that happened is, the speed of my Internet connection is SUPERB today. :) She downloaded Grey's Anatomy Season 6 episode 6 in 1 hour time. This is the fastest record in her Internet connection. woohoo! But Grey's Anatomy season 6 is getting a little dull. But she stills enjoy watching it.

It may seem a little ridiculous to consider this as a good day, but it is. She's happy today.

I like how we have the perspectives.

trailing...

2009-10-20T17:50:00.000+01:00

Layouts?

2009-10-18T07:58:00.006+01:00

I think I like making layouts or something like that.

For journalism class, I had to write a news report and make an actual newspaper layout for it. I did it, the whole night and slept about 5 in the morning. Well, no, this is not a complain. I actually enjoy making the layout though it was tiring to stare at the computer the whole time.

I was excited about it. I actually made my own newspaper. :) "The World" heh? Damn lebih right. But there's a lot of errors to it though. Like, a normal newspaper should have many columns, instead my front cover has only 2 columns and stuff like that.

Then, we have this photojournalism assignment where we have to take 20 pictures, write captions and report about it. It's not that simple to take 20 pictures, just so you know. But I enjoyed doing that assignment. I compiled it and made a mini album.

And now, I'm gonna write a feature article about Colors! You think you know colors? No, you don't. I'm still doing my research and it's due Tuesday. This assignment also required to do a magazine layout. I'm curious why am I not panicking yet? Plus, I have another PR case analysis due on Wednesday and Journalism test on Wednesday as well. Wish me luck...

And FINALS is the following week. Woooots!! Holiday is COMING! :D

Why not Netherlands?

2009-10-01T17:07:00.004+01:00

EY! Thanks to Frank who commented in The 5 Options post, I've been doing some research about Hanze University in Groningen, Netherlands.

And I'm thinking, why not try that country? They have a Bachelor Program called International Communications, which is what I'll be doing if happened to go there. Apparently the students there are from 50 different nations. How much more diverse could they get? :) Quite a lot of good reviews, but I'm only looking at the obvious ones. The course program looked kind of difficult though. Can see their programme overview here: Link.

Best of all, they offer SCHOLARSHIPS to international students! Currently eye-ing on this one. It's called HSP Huygens Programme. (Website:Link) Look at their scholarship outline:

A generous reimbursement of tuition fees or a contribution towards bench fees for the PhD thesis.
A monthly allowance of € 1,000 (this includes a standard contribution towards healthcare insurance).
Visa fees (standard contribution).
A one-off payment towards international travel costs (standard contribution based on nationality).

YAY! Isn't this cool? Let this be another alternatives of mine, once I'm done with INTI.

They also offered exchange programmes. :) And fees does not have to be paid. But I don't know how it works yet though, seem interesting. We'll get to work with international students, organizing an international event or campaigns!! HAH!

Think about it again, why not? It's in Europe. By train I can go to different European countries. But one thing though, I'm not sure if I could look for part-time jobs there? And whether their degree is recognized? Is it and Honours degree? Hahah. Okay, I have a feeling that this is too much. I have 1 more year to go. So.... Chill Angeline. Just chill...

Goodbye!
Still a dreamer.

This is what you get.

2009-09-30T17:40:00.003+01:00

Pouring the life, dried rose and unfinished piece of puzzle.

(based on Jeremy's idea)

Seabird.

2009-09-30T15:27:00.004+01:00

Cut things short. I'm planning to go Batu Caves now, yea at this time, 10:28pm. :)
I'm just curious if the lights are pretty there, and I could take some pictures for my photojournalism.

I'm still contemplating whether to go or not.

Anyway, I think, I think too much and too far. No? My ultimate goal is to go U.S.
Let's just put that aside. Maybe research then and now a little bit.

But presently, first do good in my diploma. Cause there'll be outside sponsors who will give scholarship right? This was suggested by Ms. Chong. Even for now, I just realised that my PTPTN does not cover enough. I knew that earlier, and I though I just have to sacrifice RM5000. But all these time it was excluding the resource fees. Yea, I am damn pissed with INTI now. Not that it's a bad college, but there aren't heads up for me. :/
I really dare not ask my sister for more money!! :( Gaah! Anyone's hiring people for jobs? I wonder, if I don't learn to survive independently now, how sure am I that I could cope when I'm out there?

We'll see. I'll try to look for a part time. But less tiring ones. And those that can allow me to do my own work when we're free.

Batu Caves mission, aborted.

The 5 Options.

2009-09-29T15:12:00.006+01:00

Am currently reading up for my tomorrow's Marketing test. :/

Anyway, I took a look at Inti's new website. I found out that there's only 5 universities that can lead up to my Degree Studies.

University of Queensland, Australia
Hanze University Groningen, Holland (Whaaat? Holland sounds cool. haha)
University of Hertfordshire, UK
Coventry University, UK
INTI University College, Malaysia. (This will definitely be my last resort)

However, Laureate International Universities Network consists of many, many different countries. I was amazed at first. :) They have universities from:

Brazil
Chile
China
Costa Rica
Cyprus
Equador
France (woooooo)
Germany
Honduras
Mexico
Netherlands
Panama
Peru
Spain
Switzerland

and finally, UNITED STATES! :) But there's only 3 universities in US under Laureate.

NewSchool of Architecture and Design
Kendall College
Walden University, United States

All 3 don't sound like a good option. Oh so great!! When the time is right, meaning when I finished my diploma I'll personally write mails to the Universities I guess? I don't know. I gotta do SOMETHING about this. Or else my plan fails.

Think think think think.

Signing off,

unrealistic dreamer.

It's all about setting it right

2009-09-28T20:18:00.000+01:00

I've been tumbling around my bed like it is some kind of trampoline?

No it don't make sense. Who cares anyway?

I've been thinking while I was 'tumbling'.

I'm setting goals, and what I have to achieve in few years time. It may sound corny, yet again, why would anyone care anyway?

I have always been a parasite. It's true. I am a slob, my room's always messy. This may sound typical but I know myself best. I always depend on someone else. Currently, my sister. But I have never had a clear idea about what am I suppose to do when I'm alone. I am careless where I showed no value for life. I'll just laugh a matter off. Partially because I always thought that I will never get what I want. Such mindset killed my 18 years of life. I have always been standing behind the crowd, hiding, instead of being in the front line.

I've been talking to Ruth, these past few days and yes, she did managed to convince me that I am able to be independent now. And I've met different people of different experiences telling me, "why not? If you have a chance to explore, go ahead! It's not like you have anyone here to pull you down. And you have the total freedom that so many other people so eagerly wants".

Since then, I've been picturing myself, alone and all independent. Funny thing is, I even pictured myself crying about how difficult my 'future' situation will be and I'll be regretting making such decision. I'll leave Malaysia, with a base of money that can support me in wherever I'll be. Currently, thinking about U.S. :)

Then I'll work, say for about 6 months or more? Paying my own rent, managing my own living expenses and do some saving for my tuition fees. After that, I'll look for universities to go. :)

It don't sound as simple. My plan for now is, do really really good in my diploma course. I'll have to be excellent. Though Mr Phang only recommended RMIT (AUS) and Coventry University (UK), I'm sure there's so many other universities out there since INTI now is combined with Laureate which has a wide base of universities all over the world.

Only if, my appeal to Laureate is a success, and only if I will be accepted with scholarship offers, then I will not have to work for the 6 months before. Confusing? I know. It's just backup plans.

SO, come back to the present, I have to start saving up for my 'future' self to spend.

November holiday, it's gonna be all work and no more holidays. I've had enough.

Hence, since I've made things clear about myself, I decide to make a new blog. Renew myself, and have a fresh start. And there's where my journey begins from scratch. From a cent and we'll see how much I'll save.

If a cat can jump up on a table and dared to look at the spinning fan, why can't I?